


The Sex Car

by Rethira



Category: Tales of the Abyss
Genre: Implied Relationships, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-11
Updated: 2013-05-11
Packaged: 2017-12-11 13:40:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/799358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rethira/pseuds/Rethira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No seriously <i>everyone</i> does it in Asch's car. Eventually, and despite his own misgivings, this even includes him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sex Car

**Author's Note:**

> Written for areyougame on DW, for the prompt 'Tales of the Abyss, Asch/Luke: school AU - everybody does it in their car.'
> 
> They're more university age I guess, on the whole. The underage warning is for implied sex; nothing actually underage happens on screen, as it were.

Luke is lying sprawled on the sofa, grumbling in his sleep, whining about something stupid – and _why_ did Asch have to look after his replica anyway, it wasn’t his fault Luke even existed, goddammit – and their car is nowhere to be seen. Asch has vague memories of being drunk, possibly, and cursing at Guy one second and praising him the next because _thank god_ Guy already taught Luke all the stupid crap like walking and talking and using the toilet. Bad enough that Asch has to look after him – and his parents can’t look after Luke _because_? – but at least he doesn’t have to teach Luke how to do everything. Anyway, he seems to remember Jade – that _bastard_ – saying something about Luke and alcohol tolerance and then it’s all a blank.

_Fuck_ , Asch thinks. Luke’s like three, even if he looks and acts eighteen.

“Noooo,” Luke whines, waking up. He blinks and winces and closes his eyes again – hah, his first hangover. “Asch?”

“What?” Asch snaps. Luke just pisses him off. Maybe it’s unreasonable but so what? Luke’s like the little brother he never wanted, except worse because Luke _adores_ him and it’s just kind of creepy.

“You’re talking too loud and it’s too bright and my head hurts.” Luke’s voice ends on a whiny note, which does wonders for both their headaches.

“You have a hangover, _genius_. Listen, brat, if Jade ever suggests anything ever again, you are to ignore him, got it?” Jade will die later, Asch has decided. Just as soon as he finds his car.

The phone rings then, obnoxiously loudly. Luke makes a pathetic noise and falls off the sofa, dragging a cushion with him and clamping it over his head. Asch has a moment’s indecision – should he smash the phone or answer it? It might be about the car, though. Dammit. Smashing sounded like such a great idea too.

The caller ID says ‘Necromancer’ which means someone – _Anise_ – got at his phone again and changed all the names. Sometimes Asch wonders why he even lets these people come near him. And then he remembers the whole replica thing and Luke may adore Asch but he adores Asch’s friends – _ex-friends_ – just as much and besides which Anise brought Luke cuddly murder toys when he was being a kid. Luke’s shrieks of fear and delight had echoed through the flat that day.

“This had better be about my car,” Asch says.

Jade – of course it’s Jade, it’s always Jade, even with the replica business- hell, _especially_ with the replica business – laughs. “My, what a sparkling mood you’re in this morning,” he says.

“My _car_ ,” Asch replies.

“Is perfectly all right,” Jade says, but before Asch can breathe a sigh of relief he adds, “apart from some stains on the back seat.”

“What.”

“Well, Peony and Saphir came along after we sent you two home and Saphir was being _such_ a naughty boy, Peony and I decided he had to be taught a lesson,” Jade replies.

Asch hangs up the phone.

~

“Hey so uh, Nephry was in town last night and well, you weren’t using it so we kind of used your car.”

“Get. Out.”

~

Luke actually has to restrain Asch when he spots Anise, Ion _and_ Arietta in the back seat of their car.

“We were only _talking_ ,” Anise says – Ion is way too embarrassed for Asch to believe that, and Arietta had fled the second they’d opened the car door.

“I saw you _kiss_ her,” Asch snarls.

“Okay fine, so we might’ve done a little kissing but it’s not like your car hasn’t seen worse,” Anise replies smartly. “You should just be glad I didn’t drag Guy back here.”

“Isn’t Guy afraid of women?” Luke asks innocently. He’s not innocent. He’s seen Jade molesting Saphir – or Dist, whatever the stupid weirdo wants to be called – in a not very dark corner and seriously, Jade is meant to be a role model to them _why_?

“And that’s why it was Ion and Arietta in the car with me, not Guy,” Anise replies, smirking. Luke goes bright red – okay so maybe he’s somewhat innocent, god knows he’s never even kissed anyone before – just like Ion.

“Look,” Asch says, “I am not sanctioning anything taking place in my car. But you, Arietta and Ion are _way too young_ , so get out of my car and do not get back in it, not even if Jade dares you – are you listening Anise?”

Anise pouts. “Fine,” she says. “It’s not like we _need_ your car, we can kiss anywhere we want.”

Asch ignores that in favour of glaring at her until she goes away.

Behind him, Luke giggles.

~

“So um, surprise?” Ion says.

He’s sitting next to another Ion. In Asch’s car. Neither of them is wearing very much.

“What.”

“Sync, I think you’d better go,” Ion whispers.

Asch slams the car door shut and leaves to find and murder Jade.

~

The next time Sync is in Asch’s car it’s with Guy – Guy, for once, looks just as scared of Sync as he does around women.

“For the love of god,” Asch growls, dragging Guy out of the car. Thankfully, Guy is clothed. Sync is somewhat less so.

Guy starts muttering thanks before running off to cling to Luke. Luke is an effective repellent to basically everyone who wants to have sex. Asch has yet to figure out why, but he thinks it’s because Luke is ridiculously naïve. Despite exposure to Jade and Anise. Asch blames being around Jade and Anise too much for Sync’s behaviour.

“You,” Asch says, pointing at Sync. “You are coming with me.”

The next day Jade complains that Asch had no right to take Sync to live with the fon Fabres, and that Ion will miss him terribly, but as far as Asch’s concerned, Sync needs some actual parents to look after him. Jade does not count.

~

Asch seriously considers burning his car when he finds Natalia and Guy on the backseat in a compromising position.

~

And when Tear’s brother and Legretta are in there.

“You _have_ cars,” Asch snarls at them. “I have seen your cars. If you’re going to fuck, do it in one of those.”

He then calls Tear because Asch is spiteful and angry when people use his car for sex.

~

Tear is no longer talking to Asch, so working together is… painful. On top of that all their teachers keep on getting Asch and Luke confused, or assume they share a mind or something equally dumb, so Asch keeps on having to work with her even though he’s explained that actually it’s _Luke_ she really likes. Asch is chopped liver to her, especially after he tortured her virgin eyes with her brother and her hero in his car together.

Anyway, she’s not talking to him, so when Luke goes missing – which happens fairly often – she tells Natalia who tells Guy who tells Anise who tells Jade who tells Peony who tells Saphir who hijacks the PA system and that’s how Asch finds out.

He says to Tear that they were sitting next to each other in _three_ lessons after Luke disappeared, and why couldn’t she have told him then?

Tear ignores him of course, and various class members glare at him and mutter about how weird he is, sitting next to the girl with the best boobs and yet he doesn’t even sweet talk her.

Asch storms out of school, turfs a couple of his peers – how did they even get _in_ his car? – out the back and drives off to look for Luke. It takes him the best part of three hours before he finally spots him; Luke’s having ice cream with Tear’s brother, and goddamn is the man giving Luke creepy eyes.

“Luke,” Asch calls, and is immediately gratified to see that Luke leaps up and comes running to him, barely even sparing a glance back to the creepy old guy. “Goddammit Luke, don’t do that shit,” Asch snaps.

“But Master Van said-”

“Did he _tell you_ to call him that?” Asch asks, glaring suspiciously at him.

“Um. Er. Yes?” Luke says.

Asch scowls and whips out his phone. “Tear, your brother kidnapped Luke and told him to call him ‘Master Van.’” He waits just long enough to hear Tear gasp in horror before ending the call and shoving Luke back to the car. “Luke, I don’t want you going near that man again,” Asch says.

“Why?” Luke asks, because he is an adorable idiot.

“He wants to have sex with you,” Asch says bluntly.

Luke colours and shakes his head. “But-but Miss Legretta….”

“Idiot, you think a man like that cares?”

“Oh.”

Luke doesn’t talk again until they get home.

~

Asch should not be surprised to find Peony and Jade in his car.

“You know what, I’m not even going to ask why you’re not using _your own cars_ anymore,” Asch says. “You’re paying to have my seats washed though.”

“Fine,” Jade replies. “If you see Dist do send him our way, won’t you?”

Asch makes a disgusted noise and goes off to track down Luke.

~

Tear and Luke are in the car. She’s crying, these little tiny shakes, but she’s smiling at the same time. Neither of them has noticed Asch.

He decides to leave them to it, even though it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

~

“Oh my god, _get out of my car_!”

“You really are far too vanilla, Asch. Haven’t you ever seen a little-”

“No! And I was _happy_! Put some clothes on and _get out_.”

“Oh dear, it looks like we shall have to continue later, Saphir. What a pity.”

~

Luke’s sitting in the back of the car, alone. For a minute, Asch considers turning around and making up an excuse about why he was late. Maybe Luke’s meeting Tear. Or. Or something. But Asch doesn’t really want anyone to have sex in his – their – car, not even Luke and Tear. In fact, even when Natalia had been making suggestions, Asch had still been a bit unhappy with the idea. He’d actually said ‘Do you know how many people have had sex there? It’s disgusting.’ And that had been the end of _that_ conversation.

So Asch walks up, opens the car and peers into the back.

“Gonna come sit in the front or sit there in all the gross?” he asks.

Luke turns the puppy eyes on him. _Fuck._

Asch doesn’t give in easily though. He grumbles the entire time as he climbs in the back, trying to figure out where it might be hygienic to sit.

“Asch,” Luke says. Although it’s more like a whimper. And he looks confused. Confused and scared. If someone’s been telling him shit, Asch will have to kill them. Especially if it was Jade. Bastard’s overdue on his death anyway.

“What?” Asch doesn’t consciously mean to sound angry, it just kind of happens. Luke flinches and Asch automatically feels bad. “What?” he asks again, somewhat more gently.

“I-um. Um.”

Suddenly, Asch has a lapful of Luke and Luke has his eyes scrunched shut and is pressing his lips against Asch’s in probably the worst kiss ever. He looks like he’s expecting to be punched. He even flinches again when Asch reaches up to hold his chin.

_Goddammit._

Luke makes a shocked little whimper when Asch deepens the kiss, drawing him in and showing him what a kiss _really_ is. Luke even tries to reciprocate, kind of clumsily, but it’s the thought that counts and that’s the main thing.

“We are not doing this in the car,” Asch breathes. Luke looks kind of out of it, so Asch has to lead him into the front seat and then it’s kind of a mad dash to get home and find a bed with clean sheets.

Not that they’ll stay clean for long.

~

“I can’t believe you wanted your first time to be in the _car_.”

~

“So, how did it go?” Jade asks. His glasses are glinting dangerously. Asch resists the urge to smack him. Smacking Jade doesn’t do anything. Make him madder maybe. Or aro- no fuck no, do not even go there.

“I’m going to brutally murder the person who told him to try and seduce me in the _car_ ,” Asch replies.

“Well, I shall miss Saphir then, but if you’re absolutely sure…” Jade pushes his glasses up his nose. “I must be off. Lots of young minds to nurture.”

“I’m sure you mean torture,” Asch mutters at Jade’s retreating back.

~

“So have you and Luke actually-”

“Fuck off.”

“Never mind.”

~

Luke grins this time. He’s in the back. _Again._

“I was hoping we could-”

“No,” Asch interrupts. “Get in the front, we’re going home. I’ve told you like five times already, idiot.”

“I know,” Luke replies, still grinning like an insane person. “But Jade and Peony keep telling me that it’s bad to let it get pent up and Guy won’t answer any of my questions and everyone keeps on going in the back of the car still and we’ve never-”

“Luke. Never listen to Jade. Never listen to Peony. I am telling you now, we will do it when I am damn ready to do it with you. Get your ass in the front seat now and we can do _something_ when we get home.”

“Okay,” Luke says, looking a bit put out.

~

_Not again_ , Asch thinks. _Someone_ is in his car and he doesn’t need Luke seeing that shit on top of everything else – goddamn coursework, Asch wants to just burn all of it and how does the school even think Luke can keep up with the rest of the class anyway – and Luke should be meeting him here… half an hour ago. _Fuck_.

Asch stomps over to the door, ready to rip the damn thing off its hinges, and then he sees.

It’s Luke. Luke with his hand down his pants, and biting his lip and wearing that stupid outfit that shows off his abs.

Asch opens the door. Luke stops and stares at him. He goes bright red and starts to fix his clothes.

“A-Asch, I was, I mean I wasn’t-”

Asch forgoes words for now. Instead he clambers in the back, hauls Luke around and yanks his trousers down enough. For a moment, they both stop. Asch meets Luke’s eyes and then he leans down and takes Luke’s cock in his mouth; Luke practically screams, his hands immediately clamping around Asch’s head and his fingers tangle in Asch’s hair and then Luke loses the ability to do anything but moan.

Asch is going to give him the best damn blowjob the world has ever seen.

~

Asch gets the feeling that Luke is going to be pretty useless after every time they do anything. It does stroke his ego though. Just a bit.

~

“A-Asch, please, I can’t-”

“ _Yes you can_.”

~

Luke is sprawled in Asch’s bed. This is a highly satisfactory state of affairs, even if Luke is grumbling in his sleep. A glance out the window reveals that, once again, their car is nowhere to be seen. For a minute, Asch ponders calling Jade and yelling at him about getting them both drunk and stealing their car to have sex in, but then he sees Jade lying passed out in the doorway, half squished under Saphir.

“Huh,” Asch says to himself. Wait a minute. That means someone else has his car. Asch rolls off the bed – Luke’s naked and sticky. So is Asch. Well, at least they had fun, even if Asch can’t quite remember it. He pulls on some pants – Luke’s but they’re the same size, so it doesn’t matter – and goes to kneel beside Jade and Saphir. This close, Asch can hear that Saphir keeps on whining Jade’s name in his sleep, which probably suggests some really unwholesome things but fuck it if Asch is going to dissect that thought this early in the morning. Asch pokes Jade until the older man wakes up.

It’s supremely unfair that it takes Jade half a second to actually become completely aware of where he is and what he’s doing; then he’s shoving Saphir off and straightening his glasses, like he wasn’t just sleeping on Asch’s floor.

“Ah, Asch, good morning,” Jade says, smoothing his clothes out. Thank god he’s clothed. Even if Saphir is missing one sock and his pants, thank god _Jade is clothed_. Saphir whimpers and curls into a little ball.

“Where’s my car?” Asch asks.

“Oh my, you are direct first thing in the morning, aren’t you?” Jade says.

“My car,” Asch repeats.

“I believe – and I may be wrong here, seeing as we appear to be in your abode and I have no recollection of how that came to be – but I digress. I believe that you abandoned it in favour of a taxi. This was at one of the bars we attended, of course,” Jade says. “And do cease your whinging, Saphir, it is most distressing.”

“M’ name’s Dist,” Saphir whines. “Why are you so meeeeeaaan, Jade?”

“I think I should take him home,” Jade says, and fuck it, Asch can’t deal with Saphir’s whining this early in the morning and why is it Saphir’s a grown man yet whines more than anyone else Asch has ever met?

“Yes fine. Tell Guy and- dammit, was _Anise_ there? Whatever, tell everyone I’m looking for my car and if someone’s had sex in it, or is having sex in it _I do not want to know_. Now get out.” Asch gestures to the door and pointedly doesn’t watch as Jade dresses Saphir.

“Ta-ta then,” Jade says, waving nonchalantly and shoving a protesting Saphir into the hallway.

“Whatever,” Asch mutters, flopping back on the bed. Luke snuffles and rolls over, wrapping his arms around Asch.

Not even three months ago, Asch would’ve thrown his arms off and tossed Luke out of his room.

But now? Now Asch sighs resignedly and curls up closer to his idiot replica.


End file.
